I apologize for not writing a blog last week, however I am not sorry. These past two weeks were spiritually impacting and one of my lowest and highest points of this trip. Mentally I didn't really have the energy or desire to write a blog about how I let Satan take me down. Yes... I LET HIM. I have the destructive tendency to drown myself in stress and anxiety, and to make matters worse the enemy has had me in a chokehold for months, years, and maybe my whole life? Everyone has their low points but this time was different, even though I knew the thoughts running in my mind were lies I consciously gave myself over, I chose to believe the lies. Maybe that was the last thing you wanted to hear from someone who gave up a year of her life to serve God. But here it is, hey SATAN are you listening now? You have no power over my life and I won't live in the shame of your lies any longer. Satan feeds on sin and shame. He thrives in that darkness and by smothering struggles in secrecy he gains power and control. Truthfully Satan has no power over me except that which I give to him. In my last blog I shared with you my apprehensions in choosing a ministry, this week those fears went on steroids and I couldn't deal with the pressure. Satan told me that I could never bring anyone to Christ and that my ministries would never further the kingdom of God. But it isn't important what the lies were as much as the part where I bought into them. I can say without a doubt when I accepted those lies I felt immense despair, emptiness, and separation that I had ever felt in my spiritual walk. I will spare you the details of my emotions but hours later I was pulled out by several teammates and a week later I can say that for the first time in my life I am TRULY fighting against the lies. In 2 Corinthians 10:5 it says "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought making it obedient to Christ" with this authority I am protecting my mind. Satan tried to tell me that I would fail again, but this time I saw that I had never truly fought. Through prayer and truth from the word I am seeing the beginnings of great things to come. Finally feeling the fruit and freedom that Christ bestowed to me I realized I had these things through him all along. I am finally figuring out my ministries and I anticipate many blessings through them. When I have nailed down my schedule I will share with you what my plans are for this semester. Please be praying for my strength and for the Holy Spirit to guide me through the obstacles to come. I know that in believing the truth that Christ instilled in me has placed a target on my back, but luckily I have brothers and sisters all over the world who are putting on their armor of God and equipping themselves conquer. I will continue to pray but I ask that you too would join in asserting our strength and driving him out from the darkest corners of our lives. There is nothing too big or small for God. So why are we so afraid to let him control our minds?